A vampire masturbating in front of a mirrorBet you didn’t see that coming
somebody DO SOMETHING
i’ve added this before but this is the most important story that i have
this was published in the vancouver sun like 2 years ago, and i remember reading the paper after class while my sister was watching tv or something, and i burst out laughing when i read the headline. and so im tell her to look, and show her the article and she says “what’s a rim job” and my dad looked up at me and we held eye contact for like. a whole minute and we just had a terrible moment where he knew that i knew what a rim job was, and i knew that he knew what a rim job was and now that’s a reality that we have to face together
that commentary was beautiful
The strongest ‘pound for pound’ muscle is the uterus: it weighs around 2 pounds but during childbirth can exert a downward force of 400 Newtons, which is one hundred times as strong as gravity and equivalent to the power in a fully extended modern longbow.
#she fucking realizes hes not gonna catch her#look at her fucking face#she realizes that he cant get to her in time#that peter parker or spiderman whatever you want to call him because under that mask hes still just a boy who only just graduated high schoo#he cant save them all#he cant save her#and it breaks my fucking heart that he thought he did#that he actually thought he got to her in time and hes so confused when he reaches her#he doesnt understand why her eyes are closed#and you just know that he sat there with her for a while#he didnt move her or himself he just held her undtil her body grew cold and he carried her out ( reformedxserialxkiller )
Apparently my tablet has magic properties….Now if the second one could just happen too….
in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off
did you get an A